I have coslept with all of my kids but if we have another I am not sure that I am going to do it again. I think I may try a combination of co-sleeping and crib sleeping. All I know is that I am still dealing with the repercussions of co-sleeping and not doing cry it out. I am a big softie with my kids when it comes to them sleeping with us. I have had a really hard time transitioning my kids from co-sleeping to sleeping on their own. And from talking to other cosleeping parents I don’t think I am alone. The problem is sooner or later you have to move them out of the bed and I think that I procrastinated on this for too long. Sooner or later you have to let them cry in order to get them sleeping in their own rooms. Or you can be crowded in your bed like a sardine, uncomfortable, annoyed, and miserable.
This last week I have laid down the law with my oldest daughter who is far too old to still be sleeping with us but she still doesn’t want to sleep on her own. I have put this off because she is exhausting. She screams, cries and has tantrums whenever I try to make her sleep by herself. She says she is scared or she can’t. Honestly I believe her. And this is the reason I think I should have done cry it out sooner. Had I made her face her fears and deal with sleeping independently while she was a baby maybe she would have learned to self soothe and we wouldn’t be going through all this now. At some point, you have to get your kids out of your bed so why not tackle this monster while they are babies and the process is not so exhausting.
I guess I just think that at some point in your child’s life you have to let them “cry it out” in order to get them to sleep on their own and now I wish I had just got it over with while she was a baby. If I have another baby I will most likely start doing cry it out when he/she is over six months old. I haven’t decided on the age yet but I do know that I am not going to create another co-sleeping monster. I will probably still co-sleep while he/she is a baby but somewhere around six months I want to start making the transition to sleeping independently and if that means letting him/her cry it out, then so be it. I would rather get this over with early than have to deal with the aftermath of letting your kid sleep in the bed with you for far too long.
2 responses so far ↓
cubegirl // April 28, 2008 at 9:06 pm
I don’t think you need to let / make them cry to fix this. Put them in their own beds whenever you think they’re ready. Then spend 5 minutes laying next to them at bedtime, with minimal talking. Do that for a week. Then spend 5 minutes sitting at the end of their beds. Do that for another week. Then stand at the doorway for 5 minutes.. etc etc.. And comfort them.
It’s not going to get “fixed” overnight, but it shouldn’t take all that long to reassure them they’re safe and it’s ok to be in a separate bedroom
leavinglascrunchy // April 29, 2008 at 3:24 am
Don’t you think I might have tried that approach already? It didn’t work with her. I pretty much end up having to sleep in her bed with her all night. We have been at this for a while and at some point I either get tired and fall asleep myself in her room or have to just let her cry. If I lay in the bed with her, the second I get up to leave she starts having a fit.
I think your approach might have worked with her if I had started doing this while she was very little. I will probably try this idea with my next baby but either way I am going to aim to stop co-sleeping at six moths or so.
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